Speak Out
A psychologist answers questions about nonverbal communication and lying.

Maureen O'Sullivan, a professor of psychology at the University of San Francisco, is a nationally recognized expert in the field of nonverbal communication and lie detection through interpretation of nonverbal signals.

Based on your research, what do you find the most surprising about nonverbal communication?

The many different nonverbal ways that people use to communicate their feelings and who they are - in clothes, body language, perfume, voice tone, etc.

At what age do kids recognize they are lying?

As early as two or three.

Why are Secret-Service agents so good at detecting liars?

They are in the business of protection, so they are taught to scan crowds for someone looking differently, hence they are astute in reading nonverbal clues. Also, they investigate threats against public officials and have to determine whether the person is unbalanced or a real threat. This is a more nuanced decision than merely saying innocent or guilty. They have had very good training on these issues for many years. The CIA has had heavy reliance on polygraph rather than human decoding.

How do men and women misrepresent themselves when dating?

Men exaggerate their money, their accomplishments and their willingness to commit. Women use makeup and clothes to look better than they 'really' are and act more excited and captivated by the men than they really are.

Isn't misrepresenting yourself the same as lying?


Yes and no. If there is some indication that "putting your best foot forward" is going to occur, then it is not true 'lying' in which there is no communication that you are going to misrepresent. For example, in poker, with salesmen, politicians, etc., there is some expectation of glossing over. Similarly, we expect people to be on their best behavior early in dating relationships. We expect things to get worse, so if people don't dress, don't act nicely, we assume it is downhill from there. One could argue that dressing up, using makeup or working out are 'lies,' but they are also signs of respect and caring for yourself and others.

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