Freshmen X and Y illustrate an intimate talking distance in the Lerner Student Center at Columbia University.

Different cultural ideas of personal space come into play the moment you approach someone…or try to. Each culture has its own standards on what qualifies as too close, too far and just right.

n the United States, the accepted distance for conversation is about 18 inches, said Cornelius Grove, principal at Cornelius Grove & Associates, an international management consulting firm based in New York that specializes in cross-cultural training.

The closest distance between two people in a conversation takes place in Middle Eastern cultures, said David Givens, director of the nonprofit Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Wash.

PHOTO: Michael Arnone

Getting up close and personal is common between men and women who are friends in America. In traditional Middle Eastern and Southern Asian cultures, though, men and women segregate themselves. Enjoying a quiet moment together are X and Y.

Men usually talk to each other at very short distances, and they even push and shove each other, said Hilka Klinkenberg, an international etiquette consultant.

The distance between two people in a conversation is also very close in Latin America, said Grove. When people from the United States or Europe see Latin Americans moving in close to speak to them, they often perceive the close distance as an invasion of the private space.

n the other end of the distance spectrum, Asians tend to keep much more distance between each other than Westerners do, Klinkenberg said. "When two people bow to one another, they can't be that close," she said, noting they would knock heads if they were.

The perception of personal space is very strong in Japan, Givens says. Crossing between two people or intruding into another's space to move through a crowded room is seen as ruder than in other cultures.

"The British keep also big distances when they talk to each other," said Givens. Klinkenberg agreed and mentioned the legendary story of a British diplomat and an Arab diplomat speaking at a party. The Arab kept moving forward, while the Briton kept backing away to establish the distance at which he felt most comfortable. The result was a comical chase around the party hall, the Briton backing away with the Arab in pursuit.

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